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Monday, 16 November 2015
Helloooo! This is new post on my new blog (moving from janicelibels.blogspot.com). Since I am now officially a happy wife and a mother of one, janicelibels really doesn’t suit me anymore, Lol. I wish by janicedirga.blogspot.com, I can write more often! Well, since my last post 6 months ago, and everything changes, like a lot. I am now officially a mother of a very handsome son (thank God, not only He gave me such a wonderful husband, now He completed me by our son arrival)

I gave birth to my cutie little sweet boy that we named Fransiscus Xaverius Leonhart Liparissa. Born with c-section at June 23rd 2015, 10.25 a.m, weighs 3,9 kg. He was born healthy and energetic when I reached 10 months of my pregnancy. Even though his weighs kind of heavier than the average babies, he’s in very good health, his sugar low are normal (since newborn babies with heavy weights tend to be diagnosed diabetic). His name we’ve got from Xavier, Dee’s favorite soccer player, Xavier Hernandez which you may also known as Xavi. At first, we want to call our son Xavi, too. But, lots of cons back then. Leonhart means “lion heart”, as the stories we may always heard, lions always put their family as priority, he won’t eat if the other family member don’t get to eat. He hunted his prey for his family. So, we hope our son will get that kind of love, family oriented. And Liparissa goes for Dee’s family name. I always love “Leon”, since it representing my favorite animal, too. But when you heard someone named Leon, I picture someone whose strong, wise and powerful. That’s why, I want my kid named Leon. Dee’s completed it by adding Hart.

Two-and-a-half month baby Leon diagnosed as Dermatitis Atopic sufferer, he got allergic like Dee, this is some kind of skin allergy causes by several things such as foods, weather and dusts. Even though their allergy type are different, because Dee’s kind of allergy is rhinitis, which is he always sneezing and easily got a flu, especially in the morning and when he stay in a room with bad circulation that contains house dust. Leon food allergy comes when I, who still breastfed him, eat his allergen, foods such as egg, cow’s milk, shrimp, crab and nuts. This means the whole derivative products that contains those stuffs also included. I can’t eat those foods and everything contained it, like pastries (which I like the most), bread, pizza, pasta, biscuits, soy sauce, tahu and tempe, etc. At first, this thing frustrated me. Not only because I can’t eat everything I want and liked to, but because I thought about Leon’s future. How if he can’t tolerate those foods his entire life? He probably doesn’t know how pizza or cheese or black forest cake taste! Dee and I have been to several doctors, pediatric with allergy experts till the allergy and immunology expert. We’ve tried every lotion and drugs to help Leon’s DA but in the end, the food elimination is the only answer. I’m gladly doing everything to help Leon passes this phases, I really wish his allergy will get better in time, his antibody will be stronger, too.

Beside all of those stories, being a mother such a new thing for me. During my 3 months maternity leaves, I feel so complicated. I feel blessed for the chances to took care of my own son, being with him 24 hours a day, hearing his laughs and cries, helps him grow with passionate love. Nevertheless, I also felt so stressful because taking care of baby is really not suitable for me, I miss work, I miss being capable to do my job at office. And every time I felt this, I felt really like a bad mother. It’s not like I don’t love my kid, it’s not about motherhood passionate, it’s about what the real I am. I remember a quote said, a woman never really be free until she can choose wisely whether she will or will not be a mother. It always refers me back. I was freely chose to be a mother, and what’s the whole point of being a mother if I can’t take care my own kid? Money and career can be found easily, the way how it supposed to be. But the moment of seeing my baby grows each day, the development of his body and soul, it’s not something I can get many times, it’s once for a life time. And every movement he make nowadays, I really don’t want to miss even a glimpse. So now, I ready to give everything up.

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